My house is surrounded by oak trees which are bold and beautiful and give me much-appreciated privacy and shade throughout the summer months. Unfortunately, the joy of them fades in autumn when the acorns they produce become my enemy number one and a threat to my physical wellbeing.
So far this year I have been practically pounded mindless by random acorns falling that have clearly identified my head as their target. Don’t be fooled – acorns may be small but they hurt when falling 40 feet onto your skull. I couldn’t dare invite anyone into my backyard without first offering them a hardhat for protection.
Then comes the endless hours spent scooping the acorns off my lawn each year that would be better spent writing or spending time with family. I think the local squirrels really need to pick it up a notch as their productivity levels in terms of acorn gathering seems to be low.
So how will they actually kill me? Based on several near-misses I am going to predict that one of these days I’m going to trip on them, fall backwards, and crack my head on the pavement. I already have taken a rather embarrassing tumble down my driveway this year because I stepped on a clump of them, rolled my ankle, lost my balance, and went flying down my driveway.
Serious injury or possible death seem likely. Wish me luck!